you don't see me *a songfic*
by Suki issunsakihayami
Summary: lita reflects on Freddy dumping her, as songfict based on you don't see me by Josie and the Pussycats


Hey everybody!!! Schools out (or for us it is)! and i finally see myself being able to write!! Sorry it took so long, school was hard this year but it's finally over and I find myself an eighth grader yeah!! Anyway thanks to everyone who reviewed!! It means a lot. This song is very special to me, reasons unknown and makoto is my favorite charcter, it kinda fit. I lately have gotten into crossovers (expesioly anime) and I am currently writing one. Anyway, enough of me talking, onto the story!!! (or song fic whatever!)  
  
You Don't See Me (preformed by Josie and the Pussycats)  
(a songfic by day dreamer)  
  
this is the place where I sit  
this is the part where I love you to much  
this is as hard as it gets  
'caus I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough  
  
Here I sit on a lonely park bench just minutes after i saw him. Used to feel so happy before I saw him but today was different. I met him in our usual place for our Saturday dates. Freddy remained in the shadows, I smiled at him but he didn't smile back, i asked what was wrong and he told I was to tall for him and wanted to break up. I'm 5"4' and taller than any other girl in my class. the tears falling down now, uncontrollable, you know it's the worst feeling in the world, loving someone and not have them love you back. I gave him my heart but did he care? Everyone thinks of me as the tough girl, witch I am, but here I am fighting back to control myself. I survived my parent's deaths but I feel like i can never survive this.  
  
I'm here if you want me  
I'm you'res you can hold me  
  
Even after all this I still love him, it's funny somehow they say love is blind, my parents did, an I am suddenly begining to understand what they ment. Freddy hurt me so treribble and I still love him. Most guys when they comment and tease me about my height, i punch them but I can't ever breng myself to punch him, even though he hurt me far worse than the other guys did. But I still longed to be in his enbrace, for him to hold me close and for him to tell me he was sorry, but he realy didn't have to say anything, being with him would be enough.  
  
i I'm empty and taken  
and tumblen and breaken  
  
I used to be so happy, even this morning humming to myself as I watered my plants, so happy to be seeing Freddy in a couple of hours. How innoced I was, never knowing about the pain of love. I feel as if my heart was riped in two, like the rest of my body, my heart telling me that Freddy still loved me somewhere in his heart, and my brain telling me to grow up Freddy didn't love me and Freddy was a jerk. I could feel them, my heart and brain, fighting deep in my body as if ever work they told me actiouly set off a gun, hitting my heart and brain where it hurt the most. But my heart won out on things like that,I'm kinda stupid that way, or at least Freddy told me so.  
  
i 'cause you don't see me  
and you don't need me  
and you don't love me  
the way I wish you would  
the way I know you could  
  
He didn't see me, I realized, the real me I mean. He saw me phisicly and not mintaly. He didn't care about my heart or mind. Only the fact I was the tall exotic beauty from America. All of the girls in school hated me because all of the boys thought of me as such to. Freddy would survive, he probely found someone cuter than me, or more stupid than me, or something else like that. He is possible of love, my heart desides and I deside to. My brain of course disagrees. It kinda reminds me of those cartoons where an angel and a devil apear on the cartoon charcter's shoulder and he has to deside witch one to follow. Like me, but only I can't deside witch is the angel or the truth and witch is the devil of lies.   
  
i I dream a world where you understand  
and I dream a million sleepless nights  
  
  
Why couldn't you love me for me, I mentaly cried out, so what if I wasn't the cutest, or tallest, or dumbest. I knew he was gonna dump me sometime, I didn't expect our relationship to last forever I wasn't that dumb, but when he first asked me out, he was soo nice. I want that Freddy back, the nice kind and loving Freddy. So you want him to pretend to be something he's not capable of being my brain tonts Not my heart screams I want the unchanged Freddy who told me he loved me.  
  
I dream of fire when your touching my hand  
but it twists into smoke when i turn on the light\plain\f2\fs20   
  
When we first met, you where chosen to show me around being the new girl, and I felt so happy all of the nervesness melted away when the teacher told me I was to be your partner and you looked up at me, suddenly hearing your name from the group of guys you where talking to. You looked to hansome,kind, and loving. But my brain later told me it was a lie and I'm statrting to believe it, the memory of you talking to your friends a couple of days ago. So your dating the tall exotic american girl right? I heard one of you freinds say. Yeah, I heard you reply. You don't love her do you? another guy asked. Nope, you said in the same monotone voice. I'm just dating her cause she's cute and popular, but I'm gonna dump her soon. I knew you where gonna break up with me but why does it still hurt so?  
  
i I'm speechless and faded,  
it's to complecated  
  
I'm in over my head I thought. I wasn't ready to love, and Freddy didn't seem ready either. I was at a loss of words earlier but now I'm not. Why is that, I can always figure out what to say, to late?   
  
is this how the book ends  
nothing but good friends  
  
At least I know he didn't love me, I try to tell myself, instead finding out later and when a breakup would have been even worse. I had two friends, one was Freddy but I guess he isn't my friend anymore. The other was Ken from next door. But is he my friend anymore I ask myself, suddenly realizing I left my only true friend behind when I left to move to Japan. To run away from the memory of my parent's death. Only I realy didn't get away from it and all that happened was I loss my best friend in the whole world.  
  
'cause you don't see me  
and you don't need me  
and you don't love me  
the way I wish you would  
the way I know you could  
  
My mind slowly drifts back to Freddy wasn't realy interested in me, the real me like I thought he was, and I'm starting to belive it.  
  
this is the place in my heart  
this is the place where I'm falling apart  
isn't this just where we met?  
and is this the last chance  
that I'm ever get  
  
I slowly get up and walk around Tokyo, not realy knowing where I'm going just walking to be walking and not realy caring where I end up. I slowly drift back to school, and open the front door, it was unlocked even on a Saturday. That's a difference between American and Japanese schools, Japanese schools are open on Saturdays. I walk around the halls looking around as if trying to find something but not knowing what. I walk into my homeroom and Freddy's to and realize my heart lead my right to where Freddy and I met and I fell in love with him.   
  
I wish I was lonely  
instead of just only  
crystal and see-through  
and not enough to you  
  
I suddenly break down in tears again, just when I had gotten them under control, and a group of girls in my homeroom walk in. Are you okay? they snicker at me. What's wrong Freddy dump you? Or did you finaly realize you're not a guy? I glare at them, angry at them and walk up to what looks like the leader of the group, and tell her Freddy is scum and that you two would make a nice couple. She looks at me suprized and then she suddenly her face wrincles up "you little," she yells at me. "You little what?" I ask her teasingly. "you're friends can't help you?" This feels great letting all of my angry with Freddy boil into my anger of her. But I know I shouldn't, her father's the principal and she has him practicly on her finger. She walks off angry, I smile happily suddenly realizing that Freddy lost, and I won, and so what if I wasn't everything to him! That's his fault, and I then realize that I am strong and can survive anything even Freddy.  
  
  
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So...How did you like it? Loved it hated it? I wanna know, so please review!!!!!   
^_^Day Dreamer^_^  
  



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